Here is the fundamental flaw in relationship selling: Relying on it too much. Some sales people think if they write things like:
• It was a pleasure to speak to you.
• I’m looking forward to working together.
• I’m excited about the opportunity to work together.
that they’re relationship building, and that these statements actually resonate for the recipient.
The reality is that when all things are equal, every buyer buys from someone they like. But too many sales people focus too much on building a (wordsmithed but fake) relationship, instead of keeping their focus totally, fully, 100% on the buyers’ success, needs and happiness.
Forget telling them how pleased you are, or how much you look forward to making money (working together). Instead, zero in on the one thing that can actually differentiate you from everyone else: them.
Instead of telling me how pleased you are that we spoke, for instance, reframe the comment to focus on why they might be pleased they spoke to you. You might say something like: Thank you for your insights today. Based on the important points you mentioned…
Instead of telling me how much you’re looking forward to working together, tell me why I should/might look forward to working with you.
Reframe your focus. Love your customer and you’re likely to build a relationship. Love yourself but pretend to love them and you’re likely to lose out to a competitor who talks less about “relationship selling” and does more relationship building.
Your comments?
Is the flaw in relationship selling or in not understanding what a relationship is and how to build one? If a salesperson actually does build a positive business relationship with a prospect and sells his/her product or service, hasn’t he/she engaged in relationship selling?
You’re right, the statements are so overused they are meaningless and do little or nothing to build a relationship. I don’t see the flaw in “relationship selling;” I do, in your example, see a huge flaw in that as relationship building.
And you’re entirely correct: It isn’t how pleased I am to work with you that’s important, it’s what I hope to do for you, the problem I will solve for you, the value our relationship will bring to you that’s important. As Jerry Acuff and I titled one of our books: “Stop Acting Like a Seller and Start Thinking Like a Buyer.”