I remember when I first started speaking and was asked to make a presentation to a group of vice presidents to explain my training proposal to them. At the time, I was too unsophisticated to even know how many errors I committed: not only was I dressed too casually (no stockings and open-toed shoes!), I actually walked in with a hand lettered flip chart (yes, it was back in the day, but still).

They hired me, and after several months passed, I asked the HR director why they did. Laughing, she said, “What you lacked in professionalism which was everything (yes, that is a quote!), you made up for in enthusiasm. We weren’t sure if you’d get it right, but we knew if you did, we’d be delighted and we are.” My sincerity and honest enthusiasm apparently made up for a (total, in retrospect) lack of polish.

It’s been years since that first presentation yet I was recently reminded of the importance of less slick and more sincere. I was asked to make a presentation to an executive committee regarding, lo and behold, the same topic of years ago: my training proposal and their need to move to a phase two. Lots of folks were invested in this presentation and when I asked, they offered their thoughts, guidance and wisdom on how they thought I could win over the EXCOM. I worked hard and long on the presentation trying to incorporate everyone’s ideas. I was miserable and realized I was trying to be too polished, and trying to be someone I wasn’t.

The night before the presentation, in a hotel room and in a panic, I started over. This time I focused on how much I sincerely cared about their success and how great their story is. It wasn’t about being “professional,” it was about being real.

Here are 3 things I learned:
Let them see you sweat. Not because you’re nervous or unprepared but because they know you care, deeply profoundly care about their success. Passion rules.

Be a storyteller. Help them feel what you have to say; create an emotional experience. Facts and figures are important to justify the emotion.

You are good enough. Trust yourself and bring your own self – your true self – to your platform. If someone (even with the best of intentions) advises that you do something that isn’t you, don’t do it. One person guiding me was extremely analytical. His advice to me – for himself – was spot on. For me, it was inauthentic. Once you determine your strengths, use them to authentically engage others.

Hope this helps!

Do you have a parent who retells the same story at any (every) opportunity? I’ve stopped hearing my almost 85 year old mother’s stories because I’ve listened to them so many times. So it was with great surprise and huge appreciation that I realized she was telling a new story (can there be such a thing?!) the other night at our holiday dinner.

She told a story about my Uncle Phil (who was 18 years older than) and my Uncle Zach. Uncle Zach died at 92, a few years ago. As it turns out, Uncle Phil had a successful pajama business. Uncle Zach, his little brother, had been accepted to college but he had to “earn a living” the summer before, and during, college. His older brother, Uncle Phil (are you with me?) hired him to sell pajamas. He gave Zach lessons on how to sell and a bunch of leads and Zach left ready to convert Phil’s leads into pajama sales. Unbeknownst to Zach, when he left the office, Phil called all the leads/friends he had given Zach. “Buy from Zach,” he said. “He is my youngest brother and a ‘college boy’ and you can cancel your order as soon as he leaves. Just let him think he sold you pajamas.”

When Uncle Zach got back to the office he was elated with his success, my mother said, because everyone he called on bought pajamas! He was so excited about his amazing ability to sell that he told my Uncle Phil he thought he shouldn’t go to college because he could make a much better living selling pajamas.

Now what do you say to that? How do you explain?

You don’t. You don’t get yourself into the position of so enabling another person they believe they can do something they can’t.

A client of mine hired a sales person based more on matching personalities than on the skills she brings to the table. She can’t sell pajamas (or whatever) unless she is helped, helped, helped along the way. And the client continues to support her both because she hired her, and also because the sales person is likeable and fun (like the DOS). The gift, however, would be to talk to the sales person, tell her the truth, train her on the skills she needs, and reduce force if she won’t learn.

It’s amazing how often we are our own worst enemy.

Your comments, please.

Jill Beraud, Pepsi’s Chief Marketing Officer, for Fast Company’s “30-second MBA” answered the question, What is too much information in an Information Age. The answer (in less than 30 seconds): Anything that is irrelevant to the other person.

The more you distill everything you know into exactly and only what they need to know, the more indispensable you become.

Your comments about this morning’s post are wonderful! I can’t respond directly through Twitter or FB, though this blog seems to make it through the government scrubbing.

There are many wonderful customs here in China. At dinner, a tiny amount of wine is poured and to drink it, you must toast someone. Because there is only a sip’s full of wine, everyone keeps toasting everyone throughout the meal. Instead of interrupting the flow of the multi-course (and very delicious) dinner, it sets its on rhythm. So, Scott McKain, here is a toast to you and your comments about my earlier post, Presentation Mastery: Why being technically perfect may be the worst thing you can do <<”Sue – this is really brilliant information. People who want to be truly memorable speakers shoud read — and heed — your advice.”>> But pour an entire glass. You deserve it! Much love to all… on the way  home Tuesday (your time).

I wish I could credit the person who was clever enough to write this. Instead, I can only tell you that I received it from a long, lost, beautiful second cousin. 

If you need a laugh today, you’ll enjoy this sexist and so true communications truth.

 (1) Fine: This is the word
women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

  (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is
only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should

 (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

 (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing
 here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to
 a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and  hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 (7) Thanks: A woman is  thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re
 welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true,  unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE
sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ’you’re welcome’ .. that will bring on a
 ’whatever’).*

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying *)*)(*  YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is
something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s
response refer to # 3.

*SpeakerSue: Important! I have never used this one. (Thanks a lot.)

Comments?

Hope for the world! Congratulations and mazel tov,  President Obama.

May the light of G-d’s Face shine upon you and be gracious unto you…