Can you find the errors in selling and judgement made by this salesperson? Can you figure out why this is a loser’s email and what must be done to sell better?
Here’s the backstory: The customer is interested in the hotel for an upcoming meeting. She emails the salesperson with a few questions. Here is the salesperson’s response (plus my smarmy comments). Ten tips follow to avoid this horror scene:
Hi Sophie,
Happy Friday to you! (UGH!! Do not begin this way! You imply that you are happy the week is over. That might be the case but it doesn’t make it look like you like you like your work very much.)
The best rate I can offer in addition to the concessions offered is $198. (This not only sounds like you’re doing her a favor but it’s all feature and no benefit.)
In regards to high speed internet in the meeting space, the more specific information on the type of usage (wired/wireless, # of users, connectivity speed, etc) the better quote I am able to provide as there are so many variables involved and each with a cost associated with them. (Each with a cost? What information do you need? All of it? How can you make this easy for your prospect or is it that you want to write another email and then go back and forth with this issue and customer?)
Sophie, if the group is looking for a lower rate, we would need to in turn lower the amount of concessions. I look forward to your feedback! (Ewwww! Are you wagging your finger at your prospect? And what type of feedback do you want? Ewww.)
Best regards,
I wish I could tell you that the customer provided “feedback” and that was the end of it. Here is the salesperson’s 17th email:
Sophie!!! (Why the multiple exclamation marks?)
Our The ABC Hotel REALLY REALLY wants your business. We are able to offer you $159. This is coming off of our original offer by $40. Will this work for your group? (Really, really, really? With sugar on top? Oh, please. Stop begging!)
Do this now
1. Sell benefits and not just features (and you won’t need to beg)
2. Make it easy for your buyer to do what you want
3. Help your reader feel safe and smart.
4. Build excitement for what you have to offer
5. It’s never a seller’s market so create value for your product
6. Focus on your buyer, your buyer’s needs, your buyer’s everything
7. Create a positive emotional bond
8. Love them
9. Tell the truth (See email #1: the best rate…)
10. Pick up the phone
There are so many errors in these 2 emails that my heart breaks for this sales person. Set yourself and your associates up for success by giving them the tools they need to communicate and sell authentically.
Power Sales Writing