SpeakerSue – Sue Hershkowitz-Coore, CSP

Why do some people make it and others don’t? May 17th, 2012

Have you ever wondered why some people are more successful than others? If we have equal talent and time, why do some people “make” it and others, no matter how hard they try, just don’t?

I’ve been thinking about this because I’m putting together an advanced communications skills program for a client and will judge, during a simulation of the real situations they encounter with customers and internal stakeholders, how they handle their conversations.

And though there are many practical tips to consider when holding a difficult conversation, it seems that it comes back to this: What is your attitude going in to the conversation?

If you think you’re right and the other person is wrong, you will absolutely handle the conversation differently (and less effectively) than if you can enter the conversation giving the other person credit for most likely being right.

Yes, I know. That isn’t real because you know he is wrong. Knowing that, what do you think you’ll accomplish with your conversation? If you approach him in a way that enables you to learn from him, too, you have a chance of moving him to a new position. If you approach him as being wrong (stupid, lazy, whatever), you’re left with few options: you force him to do it your way (and get minimal result) or you frustrate yourself trying to prove your rightness!

This is true in every conversation. When you’re about to talk to a prospect, what do you put in your mind? If you think they think ill of your product or service, how will you approach them? If you think they don’t have the budget, won’t want to change vendors, and want to “cheat” you, guess what?

More than that, what conversation do you put into your head about yourself? Do you think you can’t sell, aren’t a good presenter, are “inferior” to the Executive Committee member you’re trying to talk to?

What you put into your head before you even start to talk will determine the outcome of your conversation.

Do you agree?

6 Easy Ways to Deal with Difficult Customers May 16th, 2012

Have you ever had to deal with a customer who made you crazed?

Who hasn’t? They have different expectations and want us to know!

These 6 ideas will help:
1. Check to make sure it’s them and not you. (I know, I hate this too. Especially when it’s me. But remember the old finger pointing test; when we wag that finger at someone else, count how many are pointing back at ourselves!)

2. Do not (wait, I need to shout this DO NOT) say: “Calm down.” Never in the annals of history has any human being responded well, when they are not calm, to someone demanding that they “Calm down.” Trust me on this.

3. Listen for points you can agree with because that will help them calm down (without your having to say it). Let’s say that I’m arguing with you because you promised delivery today and it’s today, and I don’t have my delivery and I say:

Me, as your client: “Look (using the word “look” is a simple way to raise another person’s blood pressure!), you promised delivery today and I need it and it isn’t here and this is unacceptable.”

You, listening for something you can agree with: “You’re right and we messed up. I told you that you could expect delivery today…”

Me, still angry, cutting you off: “You didn’t just say that I could expect delivery! You said that I would HAVE delivery!!!”

You, listening for something you can agree with: “You are absolutely right. I said that wrong. Thank you. Here is how we can take care of this for you…”

4. Do not (wait, another DO NOT!) ever say, “I understand how you feel.” Why is this a do not ever? Because we don’t. We never truly understand how or what the other person is feeling. We might imagine how we would feel in the same circumstance, but we don’t know for sure how they feel.

5. Instead of using fake empathy, speak the truth . Say something like: “I can only imagine how you must feel right now.” Ahhhhh. The truth!

6. Love them. Whether you or they are right, doesn’t matter. The more you can focus on helping them get the result they want, the less difficult they become.

There was a folktale that told of a man that traveled from town to town and he only found nasty people in each town. But another person went to each town and only found kindness. What we look for, we see and what we give out, we get back.

Or maybe I’m wrong. What advice do you have for dealing with difficult customers?

Have you given them a reason to say yes? May 11th, 2012

How nice would your life be if every time you followed up with a prospect, they actually answered all your questions? Or just the phone? Or maybe your email?

It can happen.

First, how did you position why you would be following up in your original communication with them? Did you tell them you’d follow up “to see if you’d like a sales agreement,” “answer any questions you might have,” or my all time favorite, “to see if you received the proposal.”

This bad positioning gives your buyer no motivation to actually want to engage with you.

Let’s say you positioned it in terms of them instead of yourself. Maybe you write something like: “I’ll call you Tuesday morning to see how we can help you save time planning your event,” or “I’ll phone Wednesday afternoon to discuss other exciting options to ensure your success..”.

Right away, they’d be more likely to want to talk to you. Wouldn’t you?

Back to the phone call… don’t get on to “see if they have questions” (see above for other reasons to not talk to you).

Instead, get on the phone or start the email with a benefit to them. The more you can help them feel safe and smart about talking with you, deciding in your favor and saying yes, the more likely they will.

It’s all in the approach.

Want a customized program for your product and sales team to ensure you get best results? Please call us for availability: +1-480-575-9711 or Kathleen@SpeakerSue.com.

Why your email fails to get results – and what to do about it May 8th, 2012

The prospect was in a “time crunch,” she said, and didn’t appreciate being “threatened” by the email. That is how I landed a new client!

Here is the email my new client sent to her prospect that caused the above reaction:
Good Morning Sophie,
This is just a friendly reminder that the rooming list for the ABC room block at the *Hotel* is due to me by 4:00PM today, April 2nd, 2012.
Please note that if we do not receive the rooming list by 4:00PM today, we can not guarantee availability and the group rate for your group.
Please let me know if you have any questions at all!
Thank you,

Threatening? Hardly! But if the recipient thought it was, it was!

Why emails fail to hit the mark
According to research by Justin Kruger, PhD, NYU & Nicholas Epley, PhD, University of Chicago, published in the
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 89, No. 5, pages 925-936), writers overestimate both their ability to:
•convey their intended tone in the emails they write and also,
•to correctly interpret the tone of messages that others send to them.

Why do we do that? Ego. They, of course, put it more elegantly, “egocentrism-the social psychological phenomenon whereby people have a difficult time detaching themselves from their own perspectives and understanding how other people will interpret them.” (The funny thing about ego is that your ego may tell you that this research isn’t talking about your ability.)

What do to do about it
Write for readers who are busy with their own issues.
Understand that they are unlikely to interpret the words in the way you intended, so select your words carefully. Just as Mark Twain said, “The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter–it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

Write for readers who won’t give you the benefit of the doubt
Because we don’t hear the writer’s tone of voice when we quickly scan their email, we tend to think the worst of them. This is especially true when we don’t know the other person (though it even happens with friends; have you ever read an email from someone you know really well, and think to yourself, “Wonder what’s wrong with her today” and when you ask her, she says, “Nothing, why?”). Keep your words positive and focused on solution and next steps. (Consider the difference between writing to “remind” and writing to “encourage” future action.)

Ask yourself: What conversation am I avoiding?
When the situation is difficult, email is a tough communication tool to use (see above). It’s not that you can’t; it’s that by the time you craft a respectful, politically sensitive, well-written email to express your view point, you’ve used half your day!

Never, ever write to prove another person wrong .
Find a way to help them save face.

Here is a possible rewrite to the original email:
Good Morning Sophie,
Your meeting is quickly approaching and to ensure your guests receive the excellent group rate you negotiated, your rooming list is needed. Will you be able to submit it by 4:00PM today?

I’ll phone you to see if I can assist you in any way. As soon as we have the list, we can guarantee availability for you.

We look forward to welcoming you soon!

Better? Why?

Are your site inspections losing the business? May 7th, 2012

My son and his fiancee kindly invited me to join them as they visited several locations for their upcoming wedding. Because I’m always there as “SpeakerSue” and everyone is on best behavior, I never get to experience a “real” site. (It’s better that way!) Here is what this mom learned about how sales people – not site inspections – lose business:

1. Sales people don’t ask the right questions. Oh, they ask the typical stuff like, “When did you get engaged? Where did he propose? Are we the only hotel you’re considering? How many people do you think you’ll invite? Will you have your ceremony and reception here?” But they don’t ask the question that count to the buyer. Questions like:
-What does your dream wedding look like/What are you thinking is most important to you about your wedding?/What will make you happy when you think about the place you’d like to be married/have a reception?/What is the most special thing to you about your wedding (besides the groom, of course)?
-What don’t you want at your wedding?/What have friends warned you about that you’re afraid might happen at your wedding?/What is your biggest concern about the wedding at this point?

2. Sales people talk too much! Being honest about a possible downside (the golfers will be finishing this hole behind the ceremony and that is something to consider) is vital, but expressing an opinion (personally, I really don’t like this area because to me it looks like an airplane landing field) is just foolish. We liked the area because of the beautiful, romantic path to the wide open ceremony area. But not after the sales person voiced her opinion. “Oh, it does look like an airfield…”

3. Sales people try to confuse the issue. At this point, determining the best wedding venue is most important. One salesperson, upon seeing my reaction to the “private” ceremony area directly behind the pool cabanas, starting upselling the cabanas! “These cabanas are so great,” she gushes, “for the bachelor or bachelorette party. You can rent them for a fee and have a private party here and then have your wedding right here.” OMG. Instead of talking about how they can create a private area out of the space and helping to sell the area, she went in an entirely inappropriate direction.

4. Sales people don’t show their best stuff. “I’m sorry but this room is set for a meeting so you may not be able to envision your wedding but believe me, it’s really beautiful,” doesn’t cut it. We had an appointment to see the space where they might have their reception. I get that the room could be committed but either: tell us when we’re setting the appointment, or have actual photos loaded on an iPad or in somewhere where we can see beautiful. Why the sales person thought we would take her word for it, “believe me, it’s beautiful” is beyond me.

5. Sales people who care can be more important than the site. One sales person told us that if we choose her venue, we can feel confident because we get her. She would be there the day of the wedding and at the rehearsal, too, and “I want you to be happy,” she said to the bride-to-be. We may not choose that property, but the stuff that didn’t work, seemed much more workable knowing she had our back.

Has the sales person’s attitude ever caused you to select – or not – a venue? Tell us!

How to stay motivated when the road is long… May 2nd, 2012

My two nieces, ages 10 and 11, ran in the KidsRock marathon. It’s 25 miles of individual running spread out over time and a 1.2 mile race, with the neighboring schools, run on the same course that the 1/2 and full marathon will be run the following morning. Driving to pasta load (for me) after KidsRock, with one of the award winning runners, we discussed how to stay focused when running a long distance and how to keep going even when you don’t feel like it.

Abby: Aunt Sue, what do you do to stay motivated (her words, not mine … yes, she is gifted!) when you run?
Me: Ummm.
I was embarrassed to not have a quick answer.

What do I do? I’ve thought about it and here is my list:

1. I focus on what I’ve accomplished and not on what I still have to go. (Yay! Two miles down; more than 1/7 of the race is finished!)
2. I compete. I remind myself that if all those other (30,000) people can do it, I can do. And at least as fast as most of them.
3. I only allow happy thoughts. Corny, but true. If something that I’m dealing with in my life that isn’t so great enters my mind, I replace it as quickly as possible with something more fun, more interesting, more inspirational.
4. I keep my mind busy. I read the posters that supporters on the side of the course hold up, or runners wear on their backs. One of my favorites from this race was “Life is short. Running only makes it seem long.” Another fav: “You’re not going to win. But you’re all winners.” And another hanging from the balcony of an apartment building: “Believe in yourself, Amy.” And, “I run like a girl. Try to keep up.”
5. I think about the huge, wonderful breakfast I’m going to devour when I’m done (Pancake Pantry in Nashville… worth every mile!)
6. I think about the team. My husband, nieces and nephew were waiting at the finish line. Letting them down wasn’t an option.

If I were a motivational speaker*, here is how I would say it:
•Stay focused on the outcome.
•Feel confident the goal can be accomplished.
•Be positive.
•Have fun.
•Celebrate success.
•Teamwork makes everything easier.

Motivate yourself and others to do the best work by focusing on what you do to stay the course. What do you do? Tell us?!

*Motivational speakers, to me, are folks who have overcome awful odds and survived. Hearing their stories reminds us that we have no excuses. I am grateful beyond measure that I have no story like that to tell.

Use social media to build sales April 29th, 2012

Is a connection a conversation or a fantasy?

“Always-on/always-on-you devices provide three powerful fantasies: that we will always be heard; that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be; and that we never have to be alone. Indeed, our new devices have turned being alone into a problem that can be solved,” says the New York Times and quoted in an excellent post by MediaPost Publications, Engage: Gen Y: Disconnection in a Connected World.

From a sales perspective, this is both good and better. Absolutely get your message out with social media, if for no other reason, because your customers are looking – craving – for something to do. They might as well check their email and read an email from you (so much better than feeling lonely!), review the article link you provide (how important they feel waiting for the airplane door to open!), catch up on their LinkedIn “connections” and like you on Facebook (the more friends the better!). (Sorry for that shameless plug.) Use the “thousand points of contact one’s business has with the world” to build your brand and your reputation. Why? The Wall Street Journal, reported by Paul Zak, said, “Even the sort of “social snacking” that happens through Twitter or checking out a friend’s Facebook page can prompt an oxytocin surge.” Cool. Very.

Then, once they trust that you won’t “sell” them, that you will provide them with relevant, authentic information, ask for the next step.

What is an appropriate next step? Most often, it’s a conversation – an opportunity to hear your voice and experience a dialogue in real time. Use the foundation created by social media to earn the right to phone them to learn more about their needs.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re having a meaningful conversation unless you are.

Why should your prospects trust you? April 23rd, 2012

Twice within the last two weeks, I made purchases totally on faith. One, a gliderbike from pvglider.com, and the other a Groupon purchase from Canvas on Demand. Admittedly, the Canvas purchase was a bit less worrisome because it was backed by Groupon, but I still paid $USD45, to purchase something that a company that I had never heard of before.

Both experiences were amazing! From the moment of purchase, they stayed in touch with me by email. I always knew what was happening and when. With Canvas on Demand, the photo I sent, when blown up to the size canvas I wanted, turned out to be a bit fuzzy. They actually looked at my photo and sent me a great email. Here it is in part:

Regarding your recent order, the image you have submitted appears to be slightly blurry. This means that the image is not completely in focus and we are concerned it might be a little distracting when we enlarge it to canvas size. We want you to be completely satisfied and are concerned that this image may not meet your expectations after it is processed.

The primary reason your image is blurry could be because the camera was not completely in focus when the picture was taken. This might be intentional on your part and can look very artistic, but we like to make sure before we move forward. If you are okay with it looking blurry or if that was the intended look, please reply with: PLEASE START ON THE ORDER. I UNDERSTAND IT IS BLURRY.

If you would like to choose a different image, please follow the instructions below.

There are two ways for you to submit another image:

Their email is friendly, helpful and totally focused on delighting me.

Pvglider.com was another enchanting experience. I ordered the bike at 3:43p and at 3:43p, in addition to my PayPal receipt, I received an email from the company:

Thank you for your order.
You will receive an email when your order is shipped containing the Tracking #
if you don’t within 2-3 days please contact us right away at sales@pvglider.com.

And then they stayed in touch, sending me tracking information and delivery information. Fabulous customer service.

These orders got me thinking about what the companies did that was so important and how we, as salespeople, can help our prospects feel so charmed with us.

It’s simple really. They built trust. They helped me feel safe and smart with my selection. They helped me feel confident and comfortable that I made a safe choice.

How can that be accomplished prior to the sale? Instead of focusing on features – the information they’ll get from your website anyway – focus on helping them feel confident that they can trust you. Help your customer by answering their unasked questions and you’ll not only delight them, you’ll convert the lead to booked business:
• Prove to me you’re trustworthy (Reputable recommendations on LinkedIn, blog posts, association memberships)
• Prove to me your company is trustworthy (Authentic testimonials; TripAdvisor/Yelp links in your email,
• Prove to me that I’ll look smart buying from you (Examples of why my customers and stakeholders will be happy with me)
• Prove to me that what you provide is right for me, in this instance – not just for other people (Align what you have to offer with what I’m saying is important)

Reassure your buyers that they can relax when buying from you and you’ll find selling much easier.

And thank you Canvas on Demand and PVGlider!

Use (or abuse) your sphere of influence April 20th, 2012

A sales person who had worked for an important client of mine left the company to pursue other options. Shortly after leaving he approached me asking me to refer him to another client.

Because he had truly been a superstar during the training session with client A, and had followed up after the training for even more information, I was happy to explain that to client B. At that point, I stepped out of the communications (but apparently, he contacted B, they met and it was not a match made in heaven.)

Fast forward. He moves from the original city and is now looking for an employer in a different city. He connects with me via LinkedIn (happy to be linked) and then links to me, saying, “I noticed you’re linked in with SC and I’ve tried to contact her but she doesn’t respond. I’d really appreciate it if you would connect us.”

So, I wrote to my client, asking if a connection would be appropriate. Then, I emailed my “friend” explaining what I did and that I would be delighted to make that connection if it’s okay with my client.

Two things happened:
1. My client checked his resume and would be happy to have the intro.
2. My “friend” has ignored my message (sent through linkedin). He hasn’t thanked me, shown excitement or appreciation, or contacted me at all. Even a happy face would have sufficed.

What should I do? Am I being too sensitive? Should I just make the connection without saying anything to anyone?

What would you do?

Salespeople who practice sell more… April 18th, 2012

I should be running right now. With the St. Judes 1/2 marathon just 10 days a way, I know that I need to get a last long run in by April 15. (I’m writing this on the 14th.) It’s cold though (for Arizona), rainy (for Arizona) and really windy. I’ll wait until tomorrow…

But I’ll do it. Because if I don’t, I know it will be that much more difficult to finish the race. When I start getting tired, I’ll be able to remind myself that I did it in a practice run. No sweat.

Sales professionals often forget that they need to force themselves to do the same practice run. (Of course, if they never try new ideas, or push themselves to do something better or differently, they’re right; there is no need to practice (and you probably don’t need their outdated skills anymore).

What new idea did you or your team learn last week that you want to apply to sell more, more easily? How will you practice using it? Just like any sport -or really anything in life, the more you practice (correctly), the more confidence you’ll have. Get good before it counts and you’ll have the confidence to shine – and profit.

When was the last training session you provided for your sales team? Was it product knowledge or new ideas to be more persuasive based on what matters to customers today in their buying process?

My Latest Book

Power Sales Writing (McGraw Hill)
Power Sales Writing, Revised and Expanded Edition: Using Communication to Turn Prospects into Clients

"Your customers can ignore your correspondence or you can read this book. It’s that simple!" — Larry Winget, television personality and #1 bestselling author of Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life

More Info
More Books & Learning Tools

My Latest Book

Categories

Archives

Meta

Why Sue?

Preview Sue

Stay in Touch

Latest Blog Posts

Latest Tweets