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Communication mastery: 5+ words that won’t get you anywhere

By April 1, 2009No Comments

Negative people have a contagious effect and spread their nasty germs faster than a cold in a crowded airplane. 

The challenge is making sure that you aren’t the bearer of the disease. Check this list and avoid them (like the plague):

• Starting a sentence with “look” or “listen”. Nothing good can follow.

• Saying “no.” I’m not suggesting you say yes when you mean no (I’ve been really sorry when I’ve done that). It’s saying what you can do, rather than what you can’t. Focusing on solution rather than rejection.

• Beginning a sentence with “but” or “however.” All but(t)s stink and “however” is just a big butt. These words devalue the other person’s thoughts and shout, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” Motivational … not so much.

• Always having a reason that something won’t work – and sharing it. Lately, I notice this ends with …just sayin’ as in: If we approach it that way, none of us will look good… just sayin’.  The cute stuff at the end doesn’t counteract the negative stuff at the beginning. Just sayin’. (Focus on what you think will work instead of what may not.)

• Listen for points you can agree with and for commonality with the other person. When we listen for agreement, we hear more, and we respond better.

Staying positive is such a good choice.

What do you do to communicate in a positive way and how do you handle people who insist on being negative?

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