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Three times on the same day, friends, each looking for a new adventure, told me about their upcoming interviews. Each was excited but also talked/emailed/texted about her deficiencies instead of her strengths.

All three women are strong and smart and significant. They may not (yet) have mastered everything the prospective employer asked for (wish list) but they bring skills, experiences and boundless energy and can learn anything put in front of them (or be wise enough to hire smart talent).

For them – and you – here are 5 confidence-building tips.

1. To handle yourself in any situation, focus on what you can possibly agree with.
Them: The sky is green today.
You: You’re right, the sky does look different/brighter/darker. I can see some blue too.

2. To handle yourself when someone steals your idea, thank them.
Them: So I was thinking, we should XYZ (which you said 5 mins ago).
You: Thanks for bringing my idea back to the table. Yes and…

3. To handle yourself when someone is unreasonably upset, let them vent. Then, show authentic empathy.
Them: This is ridiculous and I’m going to call my attorney…
You: Yes, I can’t imagine how frustrating this must be and…

4. To handle yourself when they want pricing immediately, focus on their needs.
Them (in their email): Please provide rates and availability.
You: Thanks so much for asking! To be sure you have everything you need, I just need to ask you if….

5. To handle a stressful situation, make yourself big. Literally.
Before getting on the zoom, extend your arms above your head – stretch and breathe and….


The biggest issue is our negative self-talk, the kind my friends were doing.

Focus on what you do have.
Focus on your solutions.
Tell YOUR story.

There is a reason they ask for a 4-year degree. Is it because they think that makes a new hire more professional? More accurate? Disciplined? Or just that they are more likely to stay because they have large college debts to pay off? Tell your story – just as you would in sales! – to show you already OWN that skill and are ready to hit the ground running.

Previous You: “I don’t have X (college degree, expertise in something, unexplained gaps in my work history, I’m too old, I’m too young, I’m one of 5 other applicants and I’ll never get it)…

New You: “Cancel, cancel.” (Thank you @SuePistone for teaching me this strategy years ago!).
Say “cancel, cancel” out loud, to yourself. Recognize your negative self talk for what it is and then replace it with a more positive thought. Yes, you actually trick your brain into believing the positive, and will present yourself with greater confidence.

New You: “Thanks for giving me the opportunity to explain. My experience more than makes up for a degree I would have earned several years ago. For instance……”

Ladies and gentlemen, always sell what you have, not what you don’t.

Before you go…

Looking for practical, specific ideas to position your team for success when recovery comes? Sue provides engaging, fully customized virtual training that will energize your team – and their sales results.

To learn more about virtual training possibilities custom fit to your needs, please email or call (+1-480-575-9711). Your team will thank you for giving them the tools they need now.

PS. What comments, ideas or stories do you have to add to today’s post? You can do me a huge favor by adding your insights and comments, or forwarding the post. Thanks for your help!

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