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I really didn’t like Mrs. Miles, my 11th grade journalism teacher and she liked me even less. As editorial editor of our high school newspaper, I butted heads with her on the slant of every editorial column. There was only one thing we agreed on and that was the importance of concise, clear, powerful writing.

“Don’t bury the lead” was one of her favorite-isms and too many email writers forget this.

Start with what is most important to your reader.

This is especially important and valuable when you have a special offer for a group of friendly recipients and using a bulk mailing.

Announce your offer immediately in your subject line.

Here are three subject line examples for a special offer of “Hot Dates”:*
Are you looking for extreme meeting value? Here are March & April “Hot Dates”
Announcing “Hot Dates” for your March or April events
March or April events? Check out these “Hot Dates”

Then, don’t make your readers wait for more. While you have their attention, expand on your offer.

You might write:
Hi Name (Yes! Personalize!)
Here’s your chance to enjoy our award-winning (or whatever your distinction is) hotel with an amazing special offer. Check these special promotion dates now to ensure they’re still available for your event.

Get your emails opened – and much more important – READ – by opening with what is most important about your story to your reader. And be thankful you never had to deal with Mrs. Miles.

Don’t get sales-y.
Be specific.
Be real.
Make it about them.
Create FOMO (fear of missing out).
Take control of the next step whenever possible. (Leave it up to them and you leave $$$$ on the table.)
Close with a delighter – a vision statement to help them see their success.

Compel buyers to read your story by opening with the lead value.

*“Hot Dates” are meeting value dates. Get your mind out of the gutter! 😉

For information on a customized email sales writing workshop for your group, please email or complete our quick Interest form to check Sue’s availability. Count on boosting productivity, professionalism and profits!

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