Think of a particular situation (work, home, with friends) and answer each of these questions with that in mind. You can take it again if you feel like you’re “a different person” at work than you are at home. In each pair, place a #1 before the answer that is most like you and a #2 before the answer that is less like you. Ready?
1.____ I’m aware when I’m talking about myself.
____ Sometimes I’m unaware that I’m talking about myself.
2.____ I change the way I talk depending on who I’m talking to (boss, client, colleague).
____ I am who I am, and I talk the same regardless of the situation.
3.____ I tend to invite other people talk about themselves and their issues.
____ I seek center stage in most conversations.
4.____ I watch how people react to my words by focusing on their body language, eyes, tone of voice, etc.
____ I tend to go on with my conversation regardless of what the other person is doing.
5.____ I’m comfortable telling people how I feel and showing emotion.
____ I’m typically uncomfortable telling people my feelings.
6.____ I think about what I’m going to say before I say it. I pause before responding.
____ I respond almost before the other person has finished speaking. Sometimes I even finish a sentence for someone.
7.____ I tend to present ideas in a more positive manner.
____ I tend to speak the truth – negative or positive.
8.____ People tell me I’m a good listener.
____ I have a hard time paying attention to conversations that have no relevance to me.
9.____ I tend to think first about how the other person will react before I speak.
____ I make my point and let them react or respond to me.
10.___ I listen for points I can agree with.
___ I listen to point out the points I disagree with.
Okay. Add only your answers to the first question in each pair. If you scored a perfect 10, you most likely likeable. The higher your score, the more you communicate from a self-centered point of view.
With a degree in counseling, I have to tell you that this test isn’t validated. That, however, doesn’t mean it isn’t without truth.